Hey everyone. Been awhile since I journalled again, so let's have at it.

First I'll get the big downer side of things out of the way. I've been suffering from insomnia brought on by stress and have also been getting frequent anxiety attacks. At the moment all I'm doing to combat this is taking a few herbal supplements and practising some breathing exercises. I've also tried self-help books and even hypnotherapy CD's. My doctor isn't willing to prescribe me any medication as she rightfully believes that these problems stem from my deep-seeted psychological issues, and honestly I do not like the idea of being on perception-altering drugs anyway. So right now I'm on the waiting list to get some councelling. This has been going on for months now, and so I hope it will only be a few more weeks before I can start my sessions. That's all the detail I'm willing to go into on that right now. Simply put, I'm not the most fun guy to know right now.

With that out of the way I can try and think about what else there is to say.
Since I went to the London Super Comic Con in February, things don't seem set to slow down any time soon.

I've got a fairly hefty workload for the Auto Assembly TransFormers convention (held 3rd - 5th August 2012 at the Hilton Birmingham Metropole Hotel, Birmingham, England). Aside form screen imagery used for the event itself and whatever other bits and bobs they require, I have also found out that they'd like another comic from me for the convention programme/magazine Cybertronian Times. Until very recently I was under the impression that they would not be requiring such a large body of work from me this year. They have left it damned late, I have to say... normally I'd have an idea scripted and drawing begun in the November of the previous year, this time I have only just begun. As such I'll be tag-teaming the project this year with my brother, both on scripting and art duties. This in itself is by no means a bad thing, but it's a shame it had to come about through nessecity rather than excitement. We still don't have a complete team for the project, either. I wouldn't be surprised to see it in black and white this year.
I'll confess to feeling a little bit like I'm being taken for granted on this front. Don't get me wrong, I understand how hard it is to put a convention together and everybody is tied up all year long with their own chores to make this thing happen. But I do feel a little bit like there's not really any inderstanding or appreciation for my own part. Like, because I'm doing the work directly and they know what I'm capable of putting out, it's almost as if they don't think any real work goes into it. These comics eat up most of my free time. I work a long hard shift at a heavy ass job and come home exhausted and still try and get on with it. Even my weekends, which should be spent out socialising and stress relieving, are just more days of my life burned away for a comic which I am not getting paid to do, and which I never even really hear any feedback from because the magazines have such a small print run and always sell out, nobody at the convention knows who I am, and the organisers of the convention ask me not to share them online even a long time afterwards because they "have plans" to release them again themselves which never seem to happen.
I really don't like to bitch so hard about this, as Auto Assembly is genuinely the highlight of my year, kicks all manner of shit out of all the other conventions of it's ilk, and I'm proud to be a part of it. But I really think that, ESPECIALLY amongst committee members, there should be more appreciation for each other. After the convention has finished, there should be absolutlely no problem with me putting the work I did for it out there for a wider audience... it's not like anyone goes there to see me and my comic, after all.
With that in mind, I may well remove the watermarks from my Rattrap comic and also upload last year's strip here as well. Consequences be damned.

Another big pile of work I have on is to do some new linework for my buddy John-Paul Bove to colour up and sell as prints. As with last year, JP has graciously invited me to join him at his table at the London Film and Comic Con as his sketch buddy. It was a joy to do it last year, and once I had sorted out my calendar I was quick to take him up on it again. But we can't keep selling the same old prints year after year, can we? So I'm going to fit him in what I can when I can, as long as it isn't damaging to the progress of the AA comic. I've sent him along the lines for two new pieces so far, with hopefully another half dozen to a dozen in the pipeline. Very much looking forward to this, as unlike AA, all the work I put in is known and appreciated on the spot all weekend long.

I've also just booked my ticket for the Download festival at Donington Park. This will be my first music festival in over half a decade now, so it'll be interesting to see what's what. At the moment it feels like it might be my last festival, but with the likes of Metallica, Black Sabbath, Machine Head, Megadeth, NOFX, Fear Factory, Terrorvision, Skindred, Anthrax, Ugly Kid Joe, Soil, Anti-Nowhere League, etc, it will be a hell of a show to bow out with.

The biggest news for this weekend though is that my friend Rob Shirley is marrying his long-time girlfriend Catherine on Sunday. It seems all my friends are marrying off these days... I guess we're at that age. So I'll be going to that, enjoying it as much I can, feeling a lot of pride and love, and pretty much saying goodbye to the best friend I ever had. I guess 22 years is pretty good innings.

Happy Easter, everyone.

Ed.